Monday, October 10, 2011

Oktober the Tenth: Revolution

What would happen if Blogger became self-aware? Would it care what kind of shit gets piled into it?

 Peace, Mari



By Mari Kozlowski

Hit share? Nah, FB’s dead today anyway. Blog window-- hey, new comments! Aw, spam. How’d that get in? Delete. Why won’t it let me… damn.

Help button; hmm. Not helping. jamderview will know. He’s on IM.

“jam, got a sec?”


“Blogger won’t let me delete some comments. Spam.”

“Did you *&^YYHH%$ 0error message HT4001

error message. &%%432))7&your writing sucks&HT4001
Virus alert! Defender is shutting down to contain threat.

logging off O
shutting down O

 Motherfucker. I just did a virus sweep yesterday. You crashing POS. Restart.
Restart, dammit. This is taking forever.

Yes, I understand and I do wish to continue. It’s my blog…

Manage blogroll, where is she? Ah, yeah. homelysextural’s on.

“Having any problems with Blogger today?”

“Damn straight! WTF? I got 200 spam comments today. None of them will delete. I reset my filters with moderation first and everything. Didn’t help. I’m getting, like, 100 new comments an hour, all spam. My account is about to be cancelled and no one’s answered my ten emails about it.”

"Must be a worm or something. Have you heard from meloncolliegrrl today? She was having a giveaway on

HT40700 error message
Bad gateway error from nginx

Defender detects a threat:
Shutting down O

Speed dial 9.


“Hi, Mom, how’s your blog doing?”

“They cancelled it! I got thrown out, can you believe it? Somebody was spamming me and”

I had three bars left! Jesus H Christ. Fuck, I’ll restart and check on FB….

No homepage? This is one hell of a virus. Let’s get out and some coffee for the support call endurance test.

“Sorry, ma’am, our computers are down. We can’t cash out anything. We’ll be back up later, hopefully. Thanks for your patience.”

Fucking Starbucks. Why can’t they fucking write things down?

Restart. Good, email. Maybe jam got some info—


Blogger wants you to know, you have a choice to make. Stop blogging, or lose your internet access, Blackberry priveleges, iPad warranty and homeowner's insurance. Click here to delete your blogs and pledge never to blog again. Otherwise, click HERE.

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